Oh what a ghastly calamity!
Us poor dear lads in West Africa have had all sorts of troubles with our internettability being decimated by fate. We could not send or receive our mails.
Quite co-incidentally Arthur the Wonderful, Liberace Hitler and Gonorrhea Swatbottom were on Erasmus Pong's luxury yacht scuba diving in just the exact same approximate area when the cable was accidentally cut. If only my lovely friends had known they could have swum down and tied the ends back together. I wonder how it got cut in the first place? Hmm, maybe a swordfish?
My dirty daddy is feeling much better and is back pestering the goats. He never learns.
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