Friday, August 28, 2009

Liberace Hitler Is Not Amused

My darling friend, Mr. Liberace Hitler, is pissed off with those fools who fill his inbox with inglorious stuffings. He has asked me to ask you to email these twats and fill their inboxes with stuffings unpleasant.

This is their pathetic attempt at a 419 scam. Please don't laugh, it is very inferior but they are obviously mentally deranged.

Your connection‏
From: Onuchie (frankiruabu@gmail.com)
Sent: Friday, 21 August 2009 8:00:20 AM
To:
Hello, I am appointed to act as a consultant, by some interested partners who is seeking investment partnership with you. As a matter of trust you are expected to guide us to exploit the available investment opportunities in your country, we need your business knowledge and connection to exploit the investment opportunity over there, can you handle it? I wait your response to provide you with more information. Mr Anthony Onuchie Please reply private email: anthonyonuchie@rocketmail.com AND anthonyajai@rocketmail.com

Are they gay bumbuddy boys? I think yes!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Great Hunter

I am sorry to have deprived you wondering people of my fantastical proses these past few days but my dirty daddy is so anguished over his goats getting eaten by someone other than him, and I have been helping to catch the chupacabra.
Below is a photo of me in camouflage hunting the terrifying beast!

Can you spot me? Yes, that's right-I'm on the left!
I will wrestle this dirty goat-sucker with my bare hands and become famous as a heroic dude.
Stay tuned for updates.

p.s. there are two fuckers about: here are their details: D.Visser62@kpnplanet.nl and mrshelenwickson@yahoo.com.hk , phone and fax numbers Tel: +34-693-572-703
Fax: +1-518 684-1775.
I hope the Springfield Pervert or Satanic Racist phone these fuck-ups up!
I am in love with the Springfield Pervert, he is so masculine and horny. Ummm, a real man!


oooooo, I'm gettin' hard!

Monday, August 17, 2009

CHUPACABRA!

Golly Gosh!

My dirty daddy's favorite goat got eated by a chupacabra! He is so distraught that he has locked himself in the outside toilet and is wailing and gnashing his teeth. He must be really upset because my retarded brother was in the toilet just before dirty daddy ran screaming into it, and my retarded brother had dropped the most foul stinkin fetid shit you ever did smell! It was like a thousand bad eggs had died and gone to hell's sewer pipe.

The United Nations have sent bio-weapons inspectors to our neighborhood to check if chemical horrors have been perpetuated by insidious organizations like Al-Qaeda, SPECTER or the Christian Grandmother's Knitting Circle. That is how dreadful is the fumes!!!

But anyway I am going to trap the chupacbra and make a fortune by letting distinguished zoologists have a poke at it for $5 a research paper.

I am a damn business genius! Are you sorry that you are not me?

Friday, August 14, 2009

My New Secret Identity

The reason I am such a successful internet scammer is because of my staggeringly huge brain and gigantic intellect and nobody can ever catch me out.

I am pretending to be an Oriental man ever since I ate some noodles last night. My super-secret hidden alias is P. Lee,a South Korean,55 years old and happily married with children, and I am a Director of Hang Seng Bank Ltd,in charge of the International Remittance department. And here is my cunning email address:
ptleehongkong@aim.com

I am going to get rich and get my ass to the Asshole Greasing Conference and with luck become Asswipe of the Year!!!

My ugly momma will be proud!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Conference on Asshole Greasing

I am very ecstaticised by the hope of attending the World Conference on Asshole Greasing in Cotonou in September! I am very hopeful that Arthur the Wonderful will attend and I can inspect his well-greased asshole at this tumultuous event!

I will have to keep up my internet scamming to raise the necessary funds. Oh how I wish that I had the modalities to get some cash from a trunk at a security company. My tough fucking luck!

However I shall not require the money to pay for a lobotomy as the surgeon could not locate my brain. I am so relieved that I do not no longer need this operation.

Who is the Springfield Pervert? He says things like my dirty daddy says. He looks like a very sexy man and it turns me on to hear his dirty nookie talk. Ooohh yeah!

I will now hop off and grease my asshole.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I Need A Lobotomy.

Well, my doctor has told me that I need a lobotomy. But I don't have health insurance, so I am going to have to go back to scamming peoples but just for a while. it is not like I am some sort of a criminal. Well I am, but I am not as bad as Bernie Madoff.

Felicia could earn more money but she is too lazy to go out selling her pussy more often. She rarely has more than 20 or 30 clients per week, and at 50 cents per naughty job that doesn't leave me much after our dirty daddy takes his cut.

Speaking of that fucking old bastard he has been splashing out the currency on buying more goats. Damn, he can't enough of them goats!

So do not take any notice of any things I have said about 419 scammers. They are all truly royal princes and children of cocoa merchants and bank officials with Sir in their titles and widows near death who have converted to Christianity. Believe what they say. It is all truth!

Please send me several thousand dollars care of my address:
419 Aswiper Lane, Port Victoria, NIGERIA. zip code 69.

Thank you for your gullibil ..sorry, trust

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I have had hat mail!

I am a victim of hat mail. it is terribly true that vile assassins on the webbing of the internets have been sneaking insidious things down the internet cable at me furiously!!

LOOK AT THE PROOF BELOW!















WHO WOULD BE SO CRUEL TO EMAIL ME THESE STUPID HATS? I DON'T WANT TO BE HATTED.

Monday, August 3, 2009

MORGAN KUMA - LYING THIEF

MORGAN KUMA'S VERY UNORIGINAL BULLSHIT STORY. - WHAT A LOSER!

Morgan And Jennifer
Please contacts me with my private
email address for more detail
mo75_kuma@yahoo.co.jp



Dear Respectful One


Our reason of contacting you is purely based on seeking your assistance. To tell you more about us, our names are Morgan Kuma and Jennifer Kuma. I am 22 years old while my younger sister is 19 years old we are the only children of our late parents Mr and Mrs Romanus Kuma and we are living here in Abidjan, the capital city of Cote d Ivoire in West Africa.

I am a student studying mass communication but the sudden death of our father. I forced myself to discontinue my studies because no one could sponsor my studies again. My mother died many years back when I was just 8 years old and since then I and my younger sister have been with my father and he took me so special as the only son.

His death was so sudden and was caused by food poisoning as the doctor said in his death certificate but we are suspecting one of my uncle who always travel with him any time he is making overseas trip as the person who planned his death, well only God knows the truth.

The issue now is that I and my younger sister want to move out of this country immediately to a more secure place where we will live for the rest of our life because since the death of our father, his brothers and other family relatives have all taken over all my late father belongings including his business and houses and they dont even want to consider me and my younger sister.

In my own case, my father was a business man who always export Cocoa to Europe and he made a lot of money from this business and own lot of properties and houses, his brothers have taken control of all these things and they can even kill me too if I should ask about them. For this reason, I dont want to be associated with them again.

However, my father confided a secret to me before his death in a hospital here. He told me that he deposited a consignment in a security company here in Abidjan Cote D Ivoire, a Trunk box containing the sum of ($12,300,000). and no one knows about this, not even the security company because he registered the content of the box as Family Valuables.
He also told me that he used my name (Morgan Kuma) as the next of kin in depositing the trunk box containing the money and also handed over the depository documents to me. He told me that it was because of his wealth that he was poisoned and that I should seek a trustworthy person in a country of my choice who could assist me to claim and invest this money.

Dear Beloved One, this is the main reason I contacted you. I want you to help me claim this consignment/trunk box (CASH) from the security company here in Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire to your country and also help me and my younger sister to relocate to your country to continue our life over there.

This country is no longer safe for my continual stay because every day here I am living under the fear of those my late father relatives. We are no longer living in our family house because they might try to kill us since they want to inherit all my late father properties. I am now living in a guest house here and I want to move out of the country finally with this money and I need your help.

If you agree to help me, I will compensate you with 20% of the total sum and also you will manage these funds in any good investment while I will continue my studies and every income made will be shared between us. Thank you and I look forward to your positive response.

Consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.
Thank you so much.
My Sincere regards,
Morgan Kuma

MORGAN KUMA - PETTY CRIMINAL

Well my dear internetter weblovers how are you all today? I am very happy because I have heard from my dear friend, Mr. Randy who has told me all about a nasty little turd called Morgan Kuma.

This dribbling, smelly idiot is yet another 419 failure. ha ha! He was stupid enough to write to Mr. Randy and try to trick him out of his money by telling an obvious fake sob story which Mr. Randy was giggling about as he read it.

If you dear internetter ever get an email from Morgan Kuma of morgan7_kuma@yahoo.fr he might tell you about his sad story and his sweet sister Jennifer. Actually Jennifer is the name Morgan uses when he wears a dress and goes to queer bars to suck old men's dicks.

I have hated Morgan Kuma for several months now because he flatly refuses to grease his asshole. It is a smelly asshole. Everyone in the internet cafe call him Stinkybum.

He blames me for that name. Guess what Morgan - it was your momma what called you that. She called you that while I was fucking her on the floor. She was a lousy lay. I really gave it to her good.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Dirty Daddy's Porn.



Heh heh. While our dirty daddy is out molesting the goats my retarded brother and myself have been sneaking a crafty peep at his filthy porno collection. here are two horrible photos he has marked as his favorites. They are the only two without goats we have found so far.

Trouble With The Webbing Of The Internet

Oh what a ghastly calamity!

Us poor dear lads in West Africa have had all sorts of troubles with our internettability being decimated by fate. We could not send or receive our mails.

Quite co-incidentally Arthur the Wonderful, Liberace Hitler and Gonorrhea Swatbottom were on Erasmus Pong's luxury yacht scuba diving in just the exact same approximate area when the cable was accidentally cut. If only my lovely friends had known they could have swum down and tied the ends back together. I wonder how it got cut in the first place? Hmm, maybe a swordfish?

My dirty daddy is feeling much better and is back pestering the goats. He never learns.