Hello World

I have asked my dear friend Arthur the Wonderful for advice on getting lots and lots of nice readers to visit my astounding blog. He told me to fuck off - actually he told me to bare my well-greased asshole next time I see a rhino and wait for it to shove its horn up my well-greased asshole and then ride it all the way to Zimbabwe. Arthur is funny like that, always saying nasty things to me like he doesn't love me or something. "sigh".

So I asked my dirty daddy when he left the goats alone for a few minutes and he said fuck off too, but after I cried he slapped me and said put in a post with words that people will search for on the Goggles search engine. Then he slapped me again, -and again, then he got a stick and I ran away....

So I thought what words do people look up on the internets mostest. Sex, women, Michael Jackson, ufos, beer, dope, Methodism and LOL cats. I thought to myself.

So I created a little story. Ahem, 'While drinking some beer Michael Jackson saw a ufo. he knew it was real because he didn't have any dope. Going onto the ufo some aliens were seen by Michael Jackson fucking small holes cut in photographs of Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and Kate Smith. Micheal Jackson said "If any LOL cats were practicing methodists they would be outraged at this weird alien sex with pictures of famous women." but the aliens ignored him and said, "we have been drinking beer and smoking dope, and doing heroin, cocaine, lsd, amphetamines, hash, nitrous oxide, mushrooms and pills. Like what skating teens do in America." Michael Jackson shrugged, took a photograph of the Jonas Brothers away before it could be indecently violated and left the ufo, finished drinking his beer and returned to Neverland and vowed he would never mention it to anyone, especially Madonna.'

Now all I has to do is let a web crawler crawl all over that and I shall have thousands upon thousands of hits every hour. Gosh my prose is Nobel standard and my teachers said I was hopeless before they chased me out of school last year. Just shows them!