Very sick, pray for me.

Oh, I am very, very ill today.

I have swine poo. yes, that is right, swine poo. My shit is coming out like pig poo and smells like a dirty pig sty. It is appalling everybody here and they are pinching their noses and saying, "Oh good grief!"

It is contagious and soon everybody in the entire world might have this terrible condition!! Imagine the stink! Oooo.

But before everybodies panics check you emails because I am sure that scammers have the cure for this terrible condition, as well as being able to lengthen your penis and make you rich. Those lads are geniuses.